And I was very upset. How did he do this with me? What all I wasn’t doing for him. All the way stretching myself I was giving and still he did this to me. Why? He was so selfish and his ego oh my God. It was because of him everything spoiled. I was in rage, feeling fire and agony. Let my time come and I will show what I am. The feeling of revenge exulted. The time did its work and passed on.
My initial feeling of rage and blaming faded a bit. It now turned inwards. I am feeling cheated. I am feeling being used. I didn’t deserve this, I am still undone. The rage now converted into pain. Why this happened to me? What did I do wrong? Why I didn’t receive what I deserved? The language of pain spurred. Analysis and introspection begun. I was yet out of my control.
After intense feelings of rage revenge and pain, the senses started turning beyond. What could have actually happened? What was his stand? It was all so going well. Though many points weren’t matching. Yet there was a try from both the sides. I was a bit melting now. How deeply I loved what we were doing? How can I even think of spoiling it? Where did my love go? Was it time being and as per situation or was it from my essence, ever growing. My field of love and compassion got activated again. The emotional confusion and narrowness started getting dissolved.
How come my trust in laws of life and my essence and my doing got shattered by one blow? Where are you? I asked myself. I challenged my authenticity and my being. It is still there just a bit shattered for a while.
Now the whole feelings changed. I could now understand both the sides. The blame game has got over now. I can now see things in balance. I can now feel that trust and love again.
I see some faults and lacking but I now have feelings of love and compassion towards him and which is leading me to pray for us all involved and the work in itself. I also understand that everyone has their own stand. They have their surroundings and circumstances and beliefs and genes and emotions to deal with. It is not always in intentions and even if it in intention what we have trusted and given and sown is never going to go in vein. It will only be returned to us if we can continue to operate from our field of love and compassion. The wisdom started emerging and all negativity transformed into it.
The new serenity took charge.
What if the sun or earth or rain be feeling the same? How much wrong we do to them? We leave nothing undone to mess up all they are showering on us. Our selfish motive illusion and egoistic approach, does it leave anything other than disaster? And still the Sun continues to shine, everyday, on its time. The earth as still ever supportive and absorbing. The rain is still ever rewarding and giving life.
It is because of their love they create all that is beautiful in this world.
Then why can’t we?
We are the same essence as they are. It is just a bit of shift. From the field of selfishness egoism distrust and insecurity to the very same field of love compassion and unconditional selfless giving that makes life beautiful and spreading freedom for all to grow at their own pace.
The whole universe illuminated once again new dawn of beautiful creation became all alive once again.
In love with Life.